Essay I: Past Experience

Coming to America
by Jude Cho

Rob and I were pretty excited to have tickets for our vacation to Jaeju Island, a popular Korean vacation spot, much like Hawaii is to Americans. But when we came out from the travel agency, my pager started to vibrate. I had received seven messages in four minutes. I knew, instinctively that this was a bad sign. Suddenly, I began to panic, and frantically, I checked the numbers. I glanced at my pager... It was Mom. I had to call her, but I was afraid, knowing she would try very hard to keep us apart.

Mom had never taken my relationship with Rob seriously. She wouldn't let me talk about us to my dad. She said it would be the end of my life if I talked about it to Dad. "Marriage is not your own decision. It's not person to person, but family to family. Don't even think about marrying a foreigner. Can you imagine what a disgrace it would be to our family? Just try to meet Korean guys; that's the best thing if you want a happy life." I knew that she just wanted him to be my male friend. But that was her wish, not mine. I had already fallen in love with him. I thought, "Why can't I marry him...just because he's American? True love doesn't consider nationality."

In front of the phone booth, I had to decide my life. This was so painful. I loved Rob; but I also loved my family. Mom already warned me that she would talk to dad about Rob, and if I went back home like Mom said, I would never see Rob again. But if I left my country and came to America, I wondered if I would be able to see my family again. Suddenly, I lost control of my feelings and began to weep. I hated God at that moment. Looking at Rob's watering eyes, I could see how much he loved me and I felt very strongly that I couldn't live my life without him. Finally, I started to dial the number. I would ask her to give me a week, and I would come home after that. I knew that I would go to America, but I couldn't tell my mom that. She would be very hurt.

At the airport, I looked up at the sky. I thought it was so beautiful, unlike the feelings inside of me. Thinking of my parents, I felt so guilty because I had lied to them. Before I jumped on the plane, I stopped again and prayed,"God, Please forgive me and help me to see this beautiful sky again."

Now, I've been in America five months. We still have lots of problems, but I'm so happy that I am with the person I love. If someone asks me what I'd do if that situation happened again in my life, I'd tell them I don't know if I'd be brave enough to do it again. But, I know in my heart, I would make the same decision to keep my love.

Jude Cho will probably pursue a career in Computer Information Systems.

A Greyish White Photograph
by Rong Liu

It was a sunny afternoon on Sunday. I was preparing supper in the kitchen.

"Mom, could you please come here now; I want to show you something very interesting."

Jenny was holding a photograph when I went into her bedroom. It was a black and white photograph. There were two people in the picture; one of them was a young girl, the other, a middle-aged woman. They were standing with their faces all smiles. As I looked at the picture, my eyes started to get watery. Suddenly it bought me back to my childhood, that happy and wonderful time.

The picture was taken on my tenth birthday. The younger girl in the picture was me. I was wearing a red dress with little white dots. There was also some lace on the sleeves and a very pretty collar. It was the gift from my parents for my birthday, and I loved it very much. The person who was standing beside me was our nurse, Mei Fan Lee. She looked about 5 feet 4 inches tall and very nice. There was a big mole inbetween her eyebrows. Sometimes I wondered if there hadn't been that mole on her face she would have been a beautiful woman. Very soon Mei Fan won me and my young brother's attention. We liked her because she would tell us a lot of stories. Every day after lunch we always had a nap for a while, and then, we would go back to school. Many times I couldn't sleep, so Mei Fan sat between me and my brother and told us folk tales until we would fall asleep.

Before the mid autumn festival came that year, Mei Fan told me an interesting folk legend. I still remember it very clearly. It was called "Chang Er flies to the moon." This story had been passed on for many generations. A long time ago, a buddhist monk gave an elixir to Chang Er's husband who was the leader of a tribe. This elixir would keep a person from dying and help him have a long life. Chang Er stole the elixir and swallowed it; then she flew to the moon where she lived with a rabbit and a sweet-scented osmanthus tree. Chang Er became a celestial body. However, she felt lonely and began to miss her husband and the normal life that she used to have. Every night during the mid autumn festival, Chang Er would dance on the moon; she was happy for the people who could spend the festival with their families. Legend says that if you put a mirror in water, the moon will be refracted by the mirror in the water. If you are lucky, you may see Chang Er dancing on the moon. When Mei Fan told me the story I was excited; I couldn't wait until the mid autumn festival.

On that holiday night, when the moon was full, Mei Fan and I put a mirror into the water in a washbasin. We observed for a while. There seemed to be a tree on the moon when I looked into the mirror. Mei Fan said that was the sweet-scented osmanthus tree. I wished I could see a rabbit or Chang Er dancing, but I didn't see anything else. It made me crazy wondering what was going to happen on the moon the next mid-autumn festival.

In 1966 the Cultural Revolution began in China. The air suddenly was heavy as if a big storm would come. Most students became "full-time revolutionaries." They attacked old traditions, social norms and anything old. They also humiliated and beat up landowners, former owners of businesses, and officials of the old regime. My father was attacked just as many officials who had contributed themselves heart and soul even their lives for this regime and this country. One day, my mother came back home from the hospital. She seemed very nervous and began checking all of our books, magazines and clothes. She took some she thought were old books and magazines. Then she began to burn or cut them. When I finally found out what was going on there, it was too late; my favorite dress had already become a rag. I was desparate and cried all night.

One week later, Mother told me that she had to discharge Mei Fan. "We couldn't let her stay here at our home. It would bring us many troubles." I was too young to understand what was going to happen in our life, but Mei Fan's leaving broke my heart. She had been in my home for two years, and we treated her like a member of the family. I've never seen Mei Fun again since her leaving.

Many years passed; I was still collecting pictures because they linked the happy memories of my childhood. I rejoice that my daughter is growing up in a country with freedom. I believe that she will never experience such suffering as I have. I hope she has a bright life in this foreign land.

Rong Liu is working towards an Associate degree from Syracuse University.