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MCC Daily Tribune Archive

Oprah's interview with Deborah Benjamin


Oprah: Excuse me for bringing this up, but we are all aware that you've recently undergone a much needed stint in a Humor Management Therapy Program. How did that go?

D: I'm happy to say I'm completely cured. There is no need for you to be concerned that I will impulsively break out in inappropriate humor during this interview.

Oprah: That's a huge relief. Thank you. Can you tell us about the program?

D: Sure. There were about 10 of us in the group. The first couple of days were chaotic with people running around trying to outwit each other; the sarcasm was so thick that it was difficult to breathe. We were also having contests to see who could make the group leader fall into the fetal position crying uncontrollably with laughter. Cruel. But that’s why we were in therapy.

Oprah: That's scary to hear. I didn't realize this sort of thing went on ...

D: Obviously, it’s not part of their advertising.

Oprah: The group leaders must be well trained to be able to sustain this kind of abuse.

D: Yes, they are special people. I’m not sure where they find them. But, as I said, this was just the first couple of days. Eventually things calmed down. By graduation there was no laughing or even a single sarcastic comment. We were all models of decorum. I actually fell into a deep sleep during the graduation speeches.

Oprah: Impressive. At this point are you allowed to continue writing articles?

D: Yes. But I must be ever vigilant that I don't fall into my old patterns. I’ve been guaranteed that I will have support from the college to assure that I stay strong.

Oprah: Excellent news. Do you have any information to impart to us today?

D: Yes, I happy to have the final exam information as the topic of today’s report. It's guaranteed to be inoffensive and delightfully bland.

  _____  

Each instructor wishing to schedule a final exam needs to complete the electronic request form. You will find it on the Faculty Services menu in Banner Self Service under, “Schedule a Final Exam”, catchy but not terribly creative. (Oh no, was that sarcasm? Someone hose me down!)  Please provide this information no later than Tuesday, September 10, 2013.  There is a series of reports and files that is set up based on the survey information and requests coming in after those files are set up require a lot of manual manipulation to get them scheduled.  The “Schedule a Final Exam” online form will close at the end of the work day on September 10 so those files can be created.

To access the Faculty Final Exam Survey:

Log on to Banner Self Service

Click on Faculty Services

Scroll down to Schedule a Final Exam

Complete the electronic form

Remember to click Submit when you are finished

Every semester a few people will contact me in November to ask if they missed the deadline to submit their final exam request. This is never funny regardless of whether you’ve had therapy or not.

Deborah Benjamin
Registration and Records
09/04/2013